Thursday, January 04, 2007

Thoughtful Allocation of Energy

The thought of making a resolution turns my stomach, but what doesn't theses days. I have been thinking, for weeks something that I could set a goal. Something I can do and succeed, but I'm in a non committal place right now. I have a hard time agreeing to do anything. I have some good days and those are more present than they were in the first trimester but the bad days are well bad. I find myself lying in bed and hugging a bucket and praying I the incontinants doesn't come. Yes thats right I said it. I'm 33 and I have wet the bed. I would like to see you try not to wet the bed with all of your muscles convulsing like mine do. Enough about my need for adult diapers, I'm supposed to be resolving here.

Well I decided to think about what I need and what my family needs, because despite my diva like attitude whilst being pregnant, I am still appart of a family and have two little wonderlings that need me. So here is what I came up with.

I need sleep. One of my annoying symptoms is insomnia which doesn't help with the nausia. The less sleep I get the worse it gets and then I am bucket hugging. I used to have this theory that if I took a nap in the afternoon that I wouldn't sleep at night. This just isn't so. I don't sleep at night either way. So I am going to take a nap when I am tired. I am going to turn off the ringer and ignor you when you call during my naps. If it is important leave a message.

I have also decided that I need to be helping around the house more on my good days. One job that doesn't make me sick is laundry. I can wash and dry and with some help I might even have enough energy to fold and hang. So I will do more laundry. I can also load the dishwasher, how weird is that I can't unload it but I can load it. One would think that the dirty dishes would send me into a tale spin and they do but my need for a properly loaded dishwasher out ranks my stomach. Did I mention I turn a bit diva-ish?

I suppose I could start where depends to keep the laundry down (since i'll be doing more of it), but I can't quite admit that I need them. Its only when I throw up. I could also work on my itchy skin but that isn't really a goal to improve myself, but it is taking care of me. I'll have to think about those two a little more. I'm still a little non committal.


kenola said...

Sounds like you may be doing a lot more laundry if you keep wetting the bed! I feel bad that you aren't feeling well, but considering the quality kids that you have produced in the past, it is worth it for all of us. We miss you guys and we miss your kids!

Two Mittens said...

My heart goes out to you Alyson. You're a brave woman to go through this, knowing what it would be like, in order to have another wonderling. You're a good mom!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry your feeling so miserable. Taking good care of youself is definitely a good resolution though. :)

Proud Mum said...

Resolution: nap

Why make your life more complicated with multiple resolutions? I resolved to nap as soon as I got pregnant and it's the best decision I made. When I feel really lousy I can look back and say, "well at least I napped!" and when I feel better, I'm able to do something because I napped.

I hope you feel better soon!