Monday, July 25, 2005

Dance Puppet, Dance

Isn't marriage funny. You take two people with different backgrounds and you make them live together. In this process of living together, ideally, we are supposed to foster a relationship of cooperation, love and communication, but somewhere along the way we learn what buttons to push to get a desired reaction. Take my marriage for instance. If I want to set Tim off I start talking about my birthday this year or my lack of wedding photos. If he wants to set me off when he goes to bed he will take the nicely folded laundry that took all day to fold and just needs to be put away, and either shove it over to my side of the bed and turn off the light or he will put it on the floor and turn off the light before I get in there. It drives me nuts. In his defense this hasn't happened for a long time and it wasn't a recent incident in my marriage that brought this post on. I have noticed however, as I was preparing this post, that this extends to other relationships as well. What is this base desire to manipulate the other person into feeling fear, anger, lust and How do we rise above it?


Dixie_Angel said...

Good question. I suppose it comes from each of us wanting the other to be feeling much the same as we feel at that time. That's the first thing that came to mind. But talk of pushing buttons - for Mr.Angel, to have a dig at me, he brings up money (I hate to discuss money issues). I do not think I ever pester him on purpose (just not a good idea!), but one thing I know drives him berserk is that if his mail somehow ends up anywhere but a specific spot on the mantlepiece! -Angel

ABQ Mom said...

My husband does the laundry thing all the time! AHHH! I know a couple that could possibly benefit from reading this entry. Got anymore good marriage advice I can pass along to them? (and in case you're wondering the couple I'm referring to is not my husband and I...)