Saturday, March 04, 2006

There Is A Fine Line...

...Between witty and the babbling ooze that is verbal vomit. Today I was at a birthday party for a friend. In knew two people and felt pressure to be funny as the hostess has always thought I was funny and said I was the entertainment. As I was throwing my quips around willy nilly, I found I was getting mixed response. I reached an all time low as I turned the discussion to toilet paper. The hostess has five or six- ply cloth like cashmere for the bottom. I enquired as to where she would obtain this quality paper of high thread count. Others became intrigued, mentioning their experience with substandard textures and roughing it with one-ply when I chimed in stating "yes and oh the fingers". As I was saying that, I was thinking stop now. You do not have to say everything you think (and yet I'm typing it and putting it on the internet for all to enjoy). Of course at the same time I was gesturing the mess on the hands (nothing vulgar). After the shocked looks I realized I should leave. No wonder I am never invited to classy parties.

6 comments:

Philosophical Karen said...

Well, telling people you're the entertainment doesn't sound very thoughtful of your hostess. It seems like it put unnecessary pressure on you.

I'm sure that statement does not stand out in other people's minds nearly as much as it does in yours, anyway.

Allrie said...

Sigh. It was not classy of the hostess to put you on the spot--it's not like you're a professional entertainer...(I picture the old Dick Van Dyke Show--Rob and Laura's parties--now seen on Nick at Nite)and I hope that your "entertaing qualitiy" is not what got you invited. Karen's right--it was probably much bigger in your mind than in any else's. All you can do now is forget it(well, learn what you can).

Mel said...

heehee! You remind me of me. I always take things one step too far. ha!

Alyson said...

In her defense I'm sure she was only joking about the entertainment but I am a pleaser.

Anonymous said...

I had the same thoughts that Karen and Allrie did, but then at the same time, I would have busted up laughing if I was there . . . but then I am rather odd . . . :) (oh, and I know well that after the fact feeling, I have said and done so many things that I would hide under a table for. And I would never make it at a classy party, so you and I can hang out together with all the unclassy people. hee hee)

fourth_fret said...

i feel bad for giggling. hard. heh.

i think everyone else is right on though... i suspect it's been long forgotten by the other guests. (except the one's that found it funny... and trust me, someone did because it's the rules of the game.) ;)