Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Dominion of Canada Under The Influence Of The Sith

My brother-in-law wrote this. I thought it was so funny that I asked if I could post it. Thanks Jon

CANADA has always been noted as a country with few natural enemies, easy to get along with never really in the forefront of controversy: until now. What has changed? New evidence points irrefutably to the fact that the Fathers of Confederacy are nothing more than a cabal of the Sith, led by non other than Darth Sidious himself His likeness (Sir John A. Macdonald, pictured at the right on a $10 bill) is proof. Another likeness, Sir Wilfrid Laurier, also bears an uncanny resemblance to the Sith Lord (on the $5 bill). Events from Canada's history seem to link this evidence to so-called Sithlike activities.
In 1868, Thomas D'Arcy McGee, a founder of confederacy was silenced. Doubt still clouds the details of his death under dubious circumstances. Macdonald was PM at the time. Another noteworthy assassination during his time in power: George Brown, a journalist and senator from Quebec in 1880.
Then there was the famed Riel Rebellion in 1885. Again, Macdonald's opponent silenced under sinister circumstances. And lest we forget the National Dream - a railroad connecting the East to the West, uniting a grand dominion. And all the Chinese labourers (slaves, clones, whatever) sent to their death in the Rocky Mountains in order to complete Darth Flemming's grand project. The Evidence is before us: do we not see it?
Need we forget internment camps when Japanese were enslaved during yet another of this planet's wars, filled with hate crimes?
Most notable of all is the presence of a Separitist Faction in Canada opposing the Sith at every turn - The Bloc Quebecois. Former leader, Lucien Bouchard lost his leg to Necratizing Fasciitis, an infection undoubtedly spawned by the midi-chlorians. And now the Sith have queen: Belinda Stronach! A recent Confidence Vote in the House of Commons was overturned, ensuring that the Dark Ones would continue to rule, thanks to her unexpected seduction by the Dark Side of the Force, tipping the balance of power in their favour.
Canadians history has shown us time and again the price of power! Be not decieved! Where are the Jedi to save us when we need them most?

1 comment:

Proud Mum said...

so freaky, so funny; as an expatriot living now in LA I'll take anything Canadian I can get but am most pleased when I come across something with a brain!