Dairy, Dairy Quite Contrary

You might think this is a post for lactose intolerance, and under any other circumstances it would be, but under the circumstances (being prego and all) it is not.

Yes all pregnancies are different but there is one constant that I can count on, Dairy and I cannot be friends. This includes cheese, yogurt, sour cream, and any other form of dairy including milk. Occasionally I am able to trick my body and sneak some cheese in disguised inside a bake potato or a sandwich, but since I am at the point where everything comes up, my stomach cannot be fooled.

Having been pregnant twice before, you would think I would know that dairy and are not friends and would have foreseen the awkward association that always occurs when we are put together.

Please note before proceeding if you can’t handle conversation on puke, don’t continue reading.

The first time it happened I was gestating my oldest Tweedle D. I was actually having a good day and felt a strong craving for milk. So I poured my self a small glass of skim. I drank slowly, waited a half an hour and thought that went well and proceeded to drink 3 more glasses. It felt so good to have the cool milk slip down my throat and know I was providing the much needed nourishment that my fetus required. Then it happened. Out of nowhere, no warning (I usually know when its going to happen) an uncontrollable force pushed the curdled, sour, smelly, Technicolor yawn all over my carpet in my bedroom, my makeup case, the hallway and finally the bathroom. My poor husband had to clean it up and no matter how we tried the smell lingered for quite some time, triggering subsequent sessions of puking.

Ok I guess I’m not ready for milk yet so I waited another month. I waited for another day I was feeling better and thought I would take it slowly after all I needed to drink milk, its what good moms do. Right! I only drank one glass. Things went well but after an hour or so I could feel my stomach churn. Thinking that some French fries might help (they had in the past) I made Mr. Wonderful take me to Wendy’s. We were in the drive through and in those days I had a bucket everywhere so naturally there was one in the car. They were taking forever with our order, my stomach was doing flip flops by then and just as the opened the window to pass us our food it happened. They got a full view of my congealed, cylindrical, tampon looking, milk puke. I guess that’s what you get for making a prego lady wait. It even felt like Kleenex coming up.

I had some similar situations with the second pregnancy and found it really difficult because I had a dietician begging me to drink whole milk because I wasn’t gaining enough weight due to the puking.

So what made me think it would be different this time? To tell you the truth I knew it would happen, I was just soooo, board of what I was currently drinking that I thought I would risk it. Perhaps my need for calcium (Ca) would outweigh the repulsion. Also maybe if I cut the milk with a little eggnog I could make my mouth happy too. Eggnog isn’t as bad it’s just more curdly than congealy.