Wednesday, November 22, 2006

What About the Boys?

This post has been working in me for some time. I like to think of myself as a bit of a feminist. I don't burn my bras because I need them but I do like how I have my own credit history and if I want to pursue a career in engineering (or any other male dominated field) I can. I have these freedoms because women finally stood up and demanded to be treated with dignity, respect, and as equals. I am grateful for that and grateful to have all of these opportunities because of the work of the generations before me. Rights that I take for granted, have been fought for by these strong women. To them I say thank you. My life has been easier because of your work. That being said I fear that the pendulum has swung (is that a word?) too far to the left.

I am the mother of two beautiful boys. They are charming and respectful because my husband and I have raised them that way. They were even trained to sit to pee so that the mess that incurs while standing could be avoided. My oldest has since learned the convenience of standing and now will learn to clean up his own messes, but I digress. There is a movement out there among some women who have taken he fight for equality to a fight for superiority. They have tried to remove males from the equation entirely. Women can satisfy themselves and women can, with the help of science, procreate on their own. Women don't need men to feel complete, which leads me to wonder why are dating services so popular? These statements concern me. I know they are only made by a small group but still....

I want my boys to be respected. I want my boys to have every advantage available to them. I don't want them to be denied access because of their gender. Right now attendance in colleges are 60% women 40% men. I don't know if that has to do with interest or affirmative action and it may have nothing really to do with gender but experience has made me wonder.

I guess all I am saying is I am trying my darndest to raise boys who respect women and all I ask is that you raise your daughters with respect for men and lets not make "Men's Wrongs Our Rights"


Karen said...

Well, I completely agree with almost everything you say, but I'm not sure there's anything to worry about where boys are concerned. (I guess it would help if I knew exactly what was worrying you. Maybe it's something you're not saying.)

The way I see it, there has been a swing away from college education towards the trades. Trades (in spite of a spiffy sales job trying to convince us otherwise) favour males. This is bound to affect the demographics at post-secondary institutions.

Men can still make a good living with only a high school education. Women -- not so much. That's why girls are clamouring to attend colleges and universities. Just to try to close the wage gap.

I can't see any of that being a negative for boys. On the contrary. After all these years, it's still very much a man's world.

Kris said...

I totally agree Alyson, I can see where you are coming from completely.


Two Mittens said...

You definitly get a different perspective when you are a mother to sons. No more boy bashing!

Proud Mum said...

This has been something my husband and I talk about a lot; it's been bothering him since he was in high school. We're right with you. We want our sons to respect women, but we also hope that they can find women who will respect them.

ABQ Mom said...

I grew up seeing exactly what you are talking about. My aunt was married and divorced early. She has two girls, she raised them to hate men. Men's sole purpose was to produce sperm for babies and that's it. They treated my brothers horribly and now as adults with their own daughters can see it being passed down to the next generation.

I'm all for equality for women but they also need to respect men. My aunt and two female cousins sometimes make me hate the feminist movement. I am the mother of a son and a daughter. I try to make things as equal as possible and being at a young age I try to let them both try to do the same things but I know as they get older they're going to have different interests and be better at different things I just hope that I can instill in them the values that it isn't a girl vs. boy thing.